A Happier You

A Happier You

By Eckhart Tolle

The greatest goal you can set this year is to make peace with your life, no matter your circumstances. These 10 powerful insights from Eckhart Tolle will get you started.

1. Don't seek happiness. If you seek it, you won't find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it.
   
   
2. The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is. There is the situation or the fact, and here are my thoughts about it. Instead of making up stories, stay with the facts. For example, "I am ruined" is a story. It limits you and prevents you from taking effective action. "I have 50 cents left in my bank account" is a fact. Facing facts is always empowering.
   
   
3. See if you can catch the voice in your head, perhaps in the very moment it complains about something, and recognize it for what it is: the voice of the ego, no more than a thought. Whenever you notice that voice, you will also realize that you are not the voice, but the one who is aware of it. In fact, you are the awareness that is aware of the voice. In the background, there is the awareness. In the foreground, there is the voice, the thinker. In this way you are becoming free of the ego, free of the unobserved mind.
   
   
4. Wherever you look, there is plenty of circumstantial evidence for the reality of time—a rotting apple, your face in the bathroom mirror compared with your face in a photo taken 30 years ago—yet you never find any direct evidence, you never experience time itself. You only ever experience the present moment.
   
   
5. Why do anxiety, stress, or negativity arise? Because you turned away from the present moment. And why did you do that? You thought something else was more important. One small error, one misperception, creates a world of suffering.
   
   
6. People believe themselves to be dependent on what happens for their happiness. They don't realize that what happens is the most unstable thing in the universe. It changes constantly. They look upon the present moment as either marred by something that has happened an d shouldn't have or as deficient because of something that has not happened but should have. And so they miss the deeper perfection that is inherent in life itself, a perfection that lies beyond what is happening or not happening. Accept the present moment and find the perfection that is untouched by time.
   
   
7. The more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present you need to be; otherwise, you will be forced to relive the past again and again.
   
   
8. Equating the physical body with "I," the body that is destined to grow old, wither, and die, always leads to suffering. To refrain from identifying with the body doesn't mean that you no longer care for it. If it is strong, beautiful, or vigorous, you can appreciate those attributes—while they last. You can also improve the body's condition through nutrition and exercise. If you don't equate the body with who you are, when beauty fades, vigor diminishes, or the body becomes incapacitated, this will not affect your sense of worth or identity in any way. In fact, as the body begins to weaken, the light of consciousness can shine more easily.
   
   
9. You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge.
   
   
10. If peace is really what you want, then you will choose peace.
    

Exerpted from Oneness with All Life by Eckhart Tolle. Published by arrangement with Dutton, a member of Penguin Group ( USA), Inc. Copywright © 2008 by Eckhart Tolle

Snowboarding

Sometimes gifts aren't really gifts...you think they are, but they kind of aren't. For N's Christmas present I learned to snowboard...sort of, if taking one lesson really counts as learning. It was a big deal though. I had to take the bus to the Catskills, pay for a class, rent a board, the whole 9. So, I considered myself a snowboarder after that, except that I really wasn't. Not only did I ruin the surprise of the gift before Christmas (don't ask) I was a complete handful when N, his friends, his brother and I headed down the mountain. It wasn't pretty. Now, I'm not the most coordinated person to begin with and every experience that has begin with me going faster than I'm comfortable has ended with a trip to the hospital or the emergency dentist or with just plain getting hurt...and I don't really care much for any of those things. Not a fan of ice, or trees, or being told what to do, or feeling out of control, or of bugs--and though that doesn't really apply in this situation I just thought I would throw it in for future reference. Point being, snowboarding begins with a lot of these things, and just keeps getting better (sarcastically) or worse (realistically) the more times you fall down the mountain.
Sidenote--why do so many male country singers have names that start with K? Weird.
At the end of the first day I was pretty sure that N would have rather gotten a nice sweater, or even a pair of jeans, hell, even a nice blender, or even a lean mean grilling machine.
The next day we took a day off, cause I can play in snow, I can walk around in it--sometimes, but remind me to tell you about my nice little trip down the stairs as I was leaving for the airport on the 24th of Dec.
Day three we decided to head back up, and this time his brother stayed with me, and by the end of the day I actually showed signs of improvement.
Now, I don't want people to think that I'm a quitter, so I gotta keep going. In a couple weeks me and a bunch of nice ladies are planning a trip, so, ya know, that should be fun, or not.
Next year, gift certificates for everyone.
Wow, not even the energy to fake a smile. Nice Arianne, nice.

The Vendy Awards

Last Saturday Nick and his family and I went to the Vendy Awards. You can read all about them here, but trust that I consumed nearly every food available. It was a delicious, delicious day. I believe I will be making this a yearly tradition.
Nick thinks its funny that the logo is a hot dog fighting a taco...he's a sick man.

That Teenage Feeling

"That Teenage Feeling"

Now that we've met
We can only laugh at these regrets
Common as a winter cold
They're telephone poles
They follow each other
One, after another, after another
But now my heart is green as weeds
Grown to outlive their season

And nothing comforts me the same
As my brave friend who says,
"I don't care if forever never comes
'Cause I'm holding out for that teenage feeling
I'm holding out for that teenage feeling"

All the loves we had
All we ever knew
Did they fill me with so many secrets
That keep me from loving you
'Cause it's hard, hard

(disclaimer--I couldn't find a video for this song where the sound was halfway decent besides this one)

Kimmy came to visit!

One day I ate until I puked...that was fun.

Recipes--catching up--Chocolate Peanut Butter Madness

Okay, I've made a lot of delicious things lately, but I haven't had time to post the pictures and recipes here--well, I'm doing it. That's it.

For Farihah's birthday I made her a Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Cake
I'm wary of any recipe that calls for a boxed cake mix, but this turned out to be one of the most delicious cakes ever. I'll be making it again and again. The only challenge was putting the peanut butter cups on the outside, because when you first pour on the frosting it's very runny, so it was a watching and waiting and putting the cake in the fridge game until the frosting firmed up a bit.

Let's be honest, I'm no food photographer, but I was inspired by Bakerella and her (much better) pictures of the same cake.

Peanut Butter Fudge Cake

Ingredients

• 1 box (18.25 ounces) devil's food
• cake mix
• 3 eggs
• 1 cup buttermilk
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 2 cups chopped chocolate-covered peanut butter cups (about 8 ounces), plus more to garnish
• 8 ounces dark chocolate, chopped
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter

Directions

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Coat two 9-inch round cake pans with nonstick cooking spray. Line with waxed paper; coat paper.

2. In a large bowl, beat cake mix, eggs, buttermilk and vegetable oil on low for 30 seconds. Increase speed to medium-high; beat for 2 minutes, scraping down side of the bowl after 1 minute. Fold in 2 cups of the chopped peanut butter cups.

3. Divide batter between prepared pans. Bake at 350 degrees F for about 34 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let layers cool on a wire rack for 15 minutes. Turn out cakes onto wire racks and cool completely.

4. Place chopped dark chocolate in a medium-size bowl. Bring cream just to a boil and pour over chocolate. Whisk until chocolate melts. Add peanut butter and whisk until smooth.

5. Trim top of cake layers flat with a serrated knife. Put 1 cake layer on cooling rack and place on a baking sheet. Pour 1 cup frosting on top; spread evenly with a spatula. Top with remaining cake layer. Pour remaining frosting over the top, allowing it to spill over the sides. Smooth top and sides with spatula. Refrigerate 1 hour to set. Transfer cake to serving plate and garnish with chopped candy, if desired.

Flight of the Conchords