Welcome to NY! AKA my unsafe living and working conditions

Ya know, when you tell people in NY that you have roaches or mice most of them just shrug and act like its no big deal and then regail you with their own stories about having various vermen infest their homes. Is is the Californian in me that expects to live rodent free? Were conditions there just too sanitary.
On Monday we all came in to work to find little mouse "surprises" on our desks...that's right, poopies. So gross! I mean, not where I put my hands and my paper and my pens. Clearly I'm going to get some sort of awful disease and die of a black lung in some secret hospital they have in NY and aren't telling anyone about because they don't want word to get out that they are basically harboring the next black plague. Today? More poopies! Now I have to clean everything before I can touch anything. Gross.
And last night I got up to go to the bathroom and there was a huge cockroach hanging out on my closet door like "Hey, what up?"
Why NY, why are you like this?
When it was just roaches it was almost okay, but now I'm being assaulted at home and at work.
Lame.

YOU LITTLE BASTARD!!!!!