When I first moved to NY I
dediced I needed to know what was going on all the time, so I signed up for every mailing list known to New Yorker,
Thrilllist, Daily Candy,
UrbanEye, even
MyOpenBar. Besides just becoming part of the routine of crap I do every morning before I start my actual work, these mailing lists rarely serve to tell me anything that new or amazing. Blah, blah...this show is playing, and tickets are $200, or this designer just opened a
boutique and everything is over $500...it's not that fun to read all about stuff you can't afford. Today's email from
Thrilllist made all the wading through these emails for the last year totally worth it. They sent out the following email on April Fools, and it just made me so happy, I only wish it were true.
THRILLIST New York Punch in the Face
An NYC man's delivery options are nearly unlimited, from food, to pot, to governorship-ending poon. Add bitter retribution to that list, with Punch in the Face.
Thrillist - Punch in the Face" title="Thrillist - Punch in the Face" style="border: 1px solid rgb(153, 153, 153); margin-right: 10px; margin-bottom: 6px;" align="left" border="0" height="110" width="110">A performance piece turned alarming side-project, Punch comes from a squad of urban-agitator bike messengers who believe in two inviolable truths: people want to punch people in the face; people are cowards. Like when begging a DJ for Summer Jam tickets, you must first plead your case, by submitting a plea on Punch's web site for why the prospective punchee deserves violence, e.g., "he's always taking credit for my work" or "she never breast-fed me". If Punch finds your job worthy, challenging, and up to their peculiar sense of fair play, they'll set up a brief phone consultation (gleaning target's name/place of business/daily routine, etc), then stalk your quarry, place them in a headlock, and deliver exactly one shot to the face (if you want two punches delivered, you clearly have anger issues).
Given their project's obvious legal issues, Punch takes several precautions, e.g., they never meet clients in person, and, shockingly, they don't accept payment -- so no matter how poorly you tip your Pad Thai deliveryman, he can still afford to gift you with the sweet nosebleed of revenge.
Punch is extremely picky. See if your cause merits a beatdown at PunchInTheFaceFrom.us
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